Sunday, May 01, 2011
Sgtf> i could store my sperm in there
Sgtf> for future generations of little sergeants
Bilbofett> got a link where I can purchase said item?
Bilbofett> It would make me cool at my job
Todd> Sgtf's sperm?
Bilbofett> people will walk by and go ".........well wait a minute, wtf is that?!"
Bilbofett> I would like to purchase the sperm, and the USB device
Sunday, April 24, 2011
DarkPassenger> darth i'm having trouble imagining that anyone in here could give any less of a shit than they currently do about a picture of brett ratner eating bbq
TheLonestRanger> but it's Korean BBQ
Sunday, April 03, 2011
adnrrarotown> i let bilbo felch me
Toddlemania> I figured so
adnrrarotown> then watch my spunk that dribbled from my anus onto his beard form into a crust in the mornig light as he sleeps
adnrrarotown> its sooo romantic
Sunday, February 06, 2011
Eko> will you have sex with me?
Eko> good grief
DrizztDoUrden> oh good grief
Eko> I GOT IT
DrizztDoUrden> you got what?
Eko> PERFECTLY TIMED
Eko> perfect execution
away> That was cool
Eko> i know
Eko> i'm proud of that actually
Anderson> Eko gonna get butt-fucked by Darth
away> You should be
Anderson> and Darth is going to take the worst pictures
Anderson> while doing it
Ribbons> Good grief
Sgtf> OH good grief
Anderson> he'll start spazzing and taking pictures of the ceiling
Anderson> a window
Anderson> and his shoes
Anderson> then, Eko won't have a damn thing to remember that magical night
DrizztDoUrden> it's mardi gras on the 8th?!
Eko> shut up
Eko> stop talking
Eko> and stick your cock in my mouth
DrizztDoUrden> for crying out loud
DrizztDoUrden> guess we have an early easter this year
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Drake-san> so I have to stand up and walk over to turn it off
Drake-san> and if I don't
Drake-san> it goes on for an hour
Todd> Did you ever have one of those baseball clocks?
Todd> It goes off and you have to throw it against the wall for the snooze
Todd> Then you HAVE to get up after the snooze goes off
Drake-san> I saw this one where a helicopter flies around your room
Todd> I couldn't fall asleep with something wizzing around the room
Todd> I'd have a bat nightmare
Drake-san> I actually programmed the robot from Ghost in the Shell (tachikoma) to become my second alarm clock
Drake-san> it is decently loud
RedNivek> baseball clock would be neat except my dog would take it and run
RedNivek> actually, if a light went on i would get up automatically
Todd> heh, but when the snooze alarm went off your dog would greak the fuck out
Todd> er freak
Todd> um, Drake
Todd> What's going on in the lower right corner there
Todd> that looks explicit
Drake-san> in the tahikoma picture?
Drake-san> I dont see anything
Todd> It looks like some reverse cowgirl action
Drake-san> it is a AI robot
Todd> If you say so
RedNivek> looks like one robot fucking another from behind
Todd> See? RedNivek sees it too
RedNivek> its obvious
Drake-san> you guys are just effing with me
Drake-san> my braingrapes
Todd> I'm really not
Drake-san> I dont see anything!
Todd> That's what it looks like
Drake-san> are you sure you aren't looking at his power unit
Todd> "Power unit"
RedNivek> more twisted japanese sex
Todd> The one things legs are spread
Drake-san> no no
Drake-san> it is all 1 machine
Drake-san> the back part is the power/cpu
Drake-san> think of it like a spider
Todd> No way man
Todd> That is one thing fucking another thing
Todd> be fault or design
Todd> Look at the way the eyes are bugged out
Drake-san> those aren't eyes! necessarily!
RedNivek> a spider getting fucked from behind
Drake-san> it is my alarm clock!
Drake-san> damn you!
RedNivek> that would wake me up too
Todd> It looks like Man-E-Faces fucking Wall-E
RedNivek> itsy bitsy spider... gettin it from behind...
Drake-san> you have ruined my toy forever!
Drake-san> forever spoiled!
Drake-san> I have to cover it with a napkin in shame
RedNivek> ruined? nay.... put into new perspective
Todd> The napkin would be very appropriate
RedNivek> yes, especially when they "wake up"
RedNivek> "spidey style"
Drake-san> GAHHHH!! NOOOOooo
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Ozymandias> It's on right now.
Jacob> yes, I know.
Ozymandias> Are you watching it?
Jacob> what do you think?
Jacob> I am not watching it.
Jacob> that would be a no
Ozymandias> Then how did you know it was on?
Friday, May 22, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Kelofpeace: sorry, but i just cannot wrap my head on what you like about that film.
editor's note, this is the tail end of a thirty minute argument about Transformers. Yes, I realize this was a year and a half after the movie came out.
Vegas: let me say it for you, yet again.
Vegas: GIANT ROBOTS BLOW SHIT UP.
Vegas: it's not deep.
Kelofpeace: i always ask folks that and all they can say is robots blowing stuff.
Vegas: I'm not pretending that there's another reason.
Kelofpeace: Dude, T2 did that way better.
Vegas: I'm saying that it's because I LIKE TO SEE GIANT ROBOTS BLOW SHIT UP. IN MORE THAN ONE MOVIE.
Eb: dude that's grounds for kicking already
AICNJava70: Transformers is fucking entertaining but a shit movie
AICNJava70: i love it
Eb: retarded fucking comparisons
koogs: is this about which robot is cooler or movie?
Eb: Transformers - T2
Vegas: no, this is about Kel being unable to not be a douche.
Kelofpeace: I love robots blowing up shit too, but I didn't really feel I got that with Transformers.
Vegas: He's saying he doesn't see why someone likes the movie, when I'm telling him in the simplest words possible.
Kelofpeace: I felt I got more people blowing up robots.
Vegas: ROBOTS BLOW SHIT UP.
Eb: SHIAS LEBEOUF'S SEXY HAIR
Eb: wasn't... that your reason??
ScrooLoose: batteries not included is the best robot movie ever
Kelofpeace: Hey, if you love Shia I can buy that.
Eb: yeah, Vegas likes teh Shia
koogs: i liked transformers too. the only thing that got me were the couple of sideline stories
Eb: Shia-wise, Indy 4 was the biggest embarassment
koogs: but the battle on the freeway was epic
Eb: John Turturro was the worst thing about Transformers
Kelofpeace: wasn't it just robots skating"?
koogs: worth the movie right there
Eb: he gave a wretched, unwatchable performance
Vegas: that's it.
Vegas: this is annoying.
Vegas: say goodnight Gracie.
ScrooLoose: his character was not turturro self
*** Kelofpeace has been kicked off channel #aintitcool.com by Vegas (Vegas)
*** AICNJava1263 (AICNJava12@chat-solu-DA853FD3.mia.bellsouth.net) has joined channel #aintitcool.com
*** AICNJava1263 is now known as Kelofpeace
Kelofpeace: hey, what I say?
Vegas: does anyone want to talk about something interesting instead?
Kelofpeace: so you guys into God of War?
koogs: liam kicked ass in taken
ScrooLoose: button bashing games are boring
Kelofpeace: hey Vegas if you want me to leave any time just say so, no need for kicking.
Vegas: I would like you to leave, because you annoy me.
Kelofpeace: well, I wasn't trying to.
Vegas: I would be happier if you weren't here, whining about Transformers and making fun of people for enjoying it.
Kelofpeace: okay, i will leave. see that film really annoys me, so i know how you feel.
*** Signoff: Kelofpeace (Quit: Kelofpeace)
Vegas: that was awesome.
ScrooLoose: i'm sure he will join later under a different name
koogs: that was a cyber escort out
Vegas: I've never seen that happen before.
Vegas: it's why I didn't ask...
koogs: me either
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
dmann: i bet she gets something good
dmann: maybe she will get barackrolled, if you know what i mean...awww yeah
dmann: isnt it nice having a first couple for whom the idea of them getting it on isnt oogly?
Sunday, January 11, 2009
* CoyoteAteMyStools just felt like funkin out for a few seconds
<@Todd> don't encourage him.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Eb: no way
Eb: Herpes, this season, has been fun
Vamp: Shit. Sorry to hear that, Eb.
Eb: well I'm sure that would be fun also
[22:59] Spymunk> And more unpleasant
[22:59] emeraldluxury> Spymunk...everyone says it is very good...so that confuses me
[23:00] Spymunk> Nothing makes me more pissed-off than stories that ultimately state as their moral compass: "Man, he is but helpless shit before life. Endure, slave, suffer and die. Life is pain and death! But if you smile a shit-eating grin, you will be OK!"
[23:00] Spymunk> emerald - it looks like one of those 'people are helpless and must suffer death' movies.
[23:00] @sPinach> spymunk, repeat after me ... It MIGHT not be like that!
[23:00] Spymunk> "Wow, dying is painful - but, ehhh, what'cha gonna do?"
[23:00] emeraldluxury> lol
[23:00] Spymunk> Spin - it will, trust me.
[23:00] theremin> SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
[23:00] Spymunk> You can tell from the trailers.
[23:00] ~Moriarty> It's not.
[23:00] ~Moriarty> But seriously.
[23:00] emeraldluxury> Spin...that it so true
[23:01] Spymunk> Mori - it's ... not?
[23:01] ~Moriarty> Shut the fuck up,
[23:01] ~Moriarty> Just shut up.
[23:01] Spymunk> Huh?you fucking asshole moron.
[23:01] ~Moriarty> Just shut up.
[23:01] Spymunk> Why am I ... huh?
[23:01] ~Moriarty> Just shut up.
[23:01] Spymunk> OK.
[23:01] Spymunk> I kinda wanted to talk about it, but ... ok.
[23:01] ~Moriarty> Because you're doing your bullshit thing again.
[23:01] Spymunk> Doing what?
[23:01] theremin> As Dianne Weist says..."Don't. Speak."
[23:01] ~Moriarty> But hey, you're smarter than anyone associated with the film.
[23:01] ~Moriarty> And you know all.
[23:01] ruraljuror> Mori, just think... in 3 more days you'll be free of Spy FOREVER
[23:01] Spymunk> ... :(
[23:01] KON> 3 days?
[23:01] * emeraldluxury cries
[23:01] ruraljuror> That's gotta be like Christmas or something
[23:02] theremin> it's all the rest of us that have to deal with him.
[05:02] @sPinach> You need to actually see it, spy. You've already made the prediction, now you need to test it against the actual film.
[05:02] Spymunk> spin - I'm afraid to see it.
[05:02] theremin> I'm afraid to listen to you talk about it
[05:02] ~Moriarty> So don't.
12[05:02] KON> but overjoyed about talking about it, evidently
[05:02] Spymunk> spin - I'm honestly afraid to see it. I'm furious that my grandfather (age 96) is about to die. He's been given a week to live.
[05:03] ~Moriarty> The only person who gives a fuck about hearing your inane rant about it is you.
[05:03] Spymunk> I'm so angry I'm just seething.
[05:03] ~Moriarty> That is NOT what the film says.
[05:03] ~Moriarty> But you've already made up your mind.
[05:03] emeraldluxury> Sounds like he has a long wonderful life
[05:03] ~Moriarty> So fuck hearing your affirm your stupid bullshit.
[05:03] Spymunk> Mori - is it an uplifting story that ultimately says that man should quest to improve himself in the face of mortality?
[05:03] ~Moriarty> Do me the personal favor of not seeing it so I don't have to smash your fucking head in with a rock.
[05:03] emeraldluxury> Stop spy
[05:03] ~Moriarty> Because I don't want to hear your shit.
[05:03] Spymunk> OK
[05:03] Spymunk> OK
[05:03] Spymunk> I'm -sorry, honestly.
[05:03] ~Moriarty> No you're not.
[05:03] ~Moriarty> Just shut up.
[05:04] theremin> so broken up about your grandfather that you're sitting on the internet annoying people instead of hanging out with him?
[05:04] Strabo> Mori has some anger issues
[05:04] Spymunk> My grandfather is dying, and there's nothing I can do. The fucking idiot doctors have taken off his IV and have recommended hospice, and as far as I'm concerned they're sentencing the man to death.
[05:04] Spymunk> I'm so angry at those doctors, I'm just shaking.
[05:04] emeraldluxury> Ok...guys, stop egging him on
06[05:04] * ~Moriarty sighs.
[05:04] ~Moriarty> So what the fuck does that have to do with a movie you haven't seen, you fucking gimp?
[05:04] ~Moriarty> Nothing.
[05:04] Spymunk> theremin - yes. Because he's in New York, dying.
[05:04] Spymunk> I'm in Oregon.
[05:04] Spymunk> And I can't afford the $900 plane ticket.
[05:04] Spymunk> I have no money.
[05:04] ~Moriarty> And that's David Fincher's fault.
12[05:05] KON> Mori, i hope you're not suggesting Spymunk is wearing tight PVC while typing this stuff
[05:05] theremin> he's ninety-fucking six dude.
[05:05] emeraldluxury> I'm sorry about your grandfather spy
[05:05] ~Moriarty> Remember... David Fincher is killing your grandfather personally.
[05:05] ~Moriarty> So by all means... rant some more about some moral to a film you haven't seen that has nothing to do with the movie itself.
[05:05] emeraldluxury> My dad died at the age of 62...so it is hard
[05:05] theremin> David Fincher took out my grandfather's IV and all I got is a movie with Brad Pitt and my seething rage.
03[05:05] * Ribbons is now known as CandyPants
[05:05] Spymunk> Mori - it's the doctors' opinion they should just give up and accept his ultimate death because he's 96 and he "shouldn't suffer."
[05:05] ~Moriarty> Again...
[05:05] ~Moriarty> What the fuck does that have to do with the movie?
[05:05] ~Moriarty> Nothing.
12[05:06] KON> Peter Pan scarred my retinas
[05:06] ~Moriarty> You're ready to rage about this point, so you're using this film you haven't seen.
[05:06] emeraldluxury> lol KON
12[05:06] KON> honestly
[05:06] @CandyPants> Also I hate to point this out Spy but, everybody DOES die
[05:06] Spymunk> And I blame, primarily, fatalistic attitudes for this. Maybe I'm wrong to think that way, but goddamn it, they should keep him on his IV and do evertyhing to try to save his life.
[05:06] @CandyPants> I bet you will too someday
12[05:06] KON> last film i seen as a kid before i got glasses
03[05:06] * Moriarty sets mode: +b *!*ICNJava51@*.hsd1.or.comcast.net
12[05:06] KON> do the math
03[05:06] * Spymunk was kicked by Moriarty (WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH THE MOVIE??? NOTHING!!! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! - Invincible - 460)
[05:07] emeraldluxury> heh...he had to get one in before you go mori
[05:07] theremin> and the crowd goes wild.
[05:07] emeraldluxury> I think he loved seeing if he could get you to talk to him
[05:07] ruraljuror> Christmas came early for everyone!
[05:07] ruraljuror> It's a Christmas Miracle!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
[11:16] Jacob> have not been in a bookstore in a while to know that it was coming out eb.
[11:18] Eb> you don't go to bookstores?
[11:18] Jacob> I do.
[11:18] Jacob> not easy to visit.
[11:18] Jacob> since they are out of town.
[11:18] Eb> what frickin town do you live in??
[11:19] Eb> you a boonie?
[11:19] Jacob> the bookstores closed down.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
DeeJay2ooo: i love this show
Jacob: what show?
Moriarty: SESAME STREET.
DeeJay2ooo: Its always sunny in phil
Moriarty: Ohhh. I distinctly remember a SESAME STREET episode where a Vietnamese guy blows his head off. I got confused.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
BluLighter> it's like a flashlight
BluLighter> but instead of a flashlight
BluLighter> it's a rubber vagina.
Logan> "COUGHCOUGHCOUGH God, it's times like this I'm pissed Hendrix won't be born for another 12,000 years."
dmann> so its a pocket pussy
Logan> Spinach, you're male right?
Oost> did cavemen make anoying songs like i can ride a bike with no handlebars
Vertov> I've never heard of that before.
Vertov> I mean, that's kinda strange.
Moriarty (your@chat-solu-5CB6512E.dsl.irvnca.sbcglobal.net) has joined #aintitcool.com
Darklord> [Moriarty] #aintitcool.com "I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here with me."
* Darklord sets mode: +qo Moriarty Moriarty
sPinach> Yeah, but why is it called a "flesh light". Does it glow?
Bunble> And don't ask, because I have no clue.
BluLighter> it looks like a flashlight
BluLighter> the casing
ruraljuror> because it's shaped like a flashlight
Moriarty> What a comment to walk in on.
ruraljuror> you screw it open, then screw it
Vertov> and why am I learning about this now?
Logan> Yeah, like they said, It's shaped like flashlight to avoid detection. Like an erotic Transformer.
Moriarty> That would have only been better if Spinach's next line was, "And how do I get it out of me?!"
Vertov> I see.
BluLighter> the Decepticunts
Logan> I actually own a Fleshlight. Neat concept but such a bitch to clean I don't use it.
Vertov> you learn something new every day.
Vertov> and this is what I got to learn about today.
* BluLighter immediately regrets typing that
ruraljuror> I thought it was machine washable?
ruraljuror> like, the dishwasher
Vertov> is that what it says on the tag, bamf?
Logan> Dude, do you think I'm going to put spooge in with the dishes I eat off of?
Oost> i nominate deciptcunts as word of 08
ruraljuror> LOL logan
ruraljuror> not at the same time
Logan> Even if it got super clean the idea alone would make it difficult for me.
Logan> Just imagine, tiny, tiny little Logans all over your spoons.
Vertov> I dunno, Logan.
Vertov> I got lucky once in my car.
Vertov> it doesn't make it strange that I drive in it to work
Vertov> Logan - jesus christ
Vertov> that messes me up
Friday, August 08, 2008
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
theremin> I definitely want to see IOUSA
Mad_Dog> I am mixed on seeing IOUSA
Mad_Dog> cus the debt thing is kinda obvies
Mad_Dog> just sounds better
* Mad_Dog watches Shark Week
theremin> Mad_Dog: I've got a doc you should see.
Mad_Dog> what is that about?
Mad_Dog> funny theremin
Mad_Dog> har har har
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
ruraljuror: Apparently Batman should have some sort of anti-dog batgadget
ruraljuror: and not punch the precious little doggies
Moriarty: That's it. I'm going to go next door and punch a dog for real just because PETA bitched about it.
Moriarty: Since they don't know the difference between reality and a movie.
Prangelina: why a dog?
Vertov: Batman did have to fight off some henchdogs, didn't he
ruraljuror: Can we punch them instead?
dmann: what if the dog is a really nice dog
dmann: even worse, what if the dog is a rottweiler!
• Vertov will, to clarify for the record, that he does not personally advocate dog-punching.
dmann: *PUNCH* * CHOMP CHOMP!* *ARM GONE!**
Ed: the dogs were going to kill him
dmann: and then the NAASS (north american arm safety society) would be all crazy!
dmann: up in arms, if you will
Prangelina: i will.
ruraljuror: this is so going on the blog
Vertov: you were waiting to bust out that pun on us
Ed: those dogs may have eaten someone
dmann: those dogs are gonna hate Rorschach
dmann: err Peta
Vegas: I don't care if it's in a movie or not. IF A PITBULL ATTACKS YOU, YOU CAN PUNCH IT.
Vegas: Fuck, if a pitbull attacks me, I will shoot it, stab it, set it on fire and feed it to a trash compactor. THEY'RE FUCKING PITBULLS. They're not fairies.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Jacob: had a fire down the street from my house the other night.
Widescreen: Was it a big fire?
Jacob: destroyed a whole condo.
ruraljuror: I'm glad you're ok Jacob
Jacob: luckily they were able to contain to the one condo.
Jacob: thanks bamf.
Jacob: it was pretty intense.
Widescreen: Did you go down and save anyone from the fire?
WritingTwoArticles: Jacob, that'll teach you not to thrown your white-hot crack pipes into someone else's condo.
Jacob: I blew the fire out like the main of steele.